I feel like I constantly have a clock ticking inside my head. It’s always reminding me that I have something due, or something coming up, or some kind of deadline. When do I just get to live each moment as it comes? I guess that’s life. The bad part is when I find myself wishing my days way, just existing until I get to a certain point so I can live for that certain event. It’s every time I realize that I’m doing this that I just get so depressed because I know we are only given one life and those days are numbered. We don’t even know the time or day that we will die either, but still I find myself so uncaring. I feel like I’ve wished my life away saying things like: I can’t wait until graduation so I can get on with my life. What’s stopping me from living my life right now? I’m in college for pete’s sake and I know four years seems like a long time and I’m truly am just ready to graduate, but God has granted me these days to live my life happily and to glorify Him in everything I do. Am I glorifying Him by complaining all the time?
I guess I just need to tell that clock to hush for awhile. There’s nothing wrong with deadlines and what not, but it gets to the point when you need to chill and take time to thank God for allowing you to be where you are today. I try to think of my life if it weren’t for me accepting Christ as my savior… It would be a very very dark life of unhappiness and addictions. I am so thankful that I have a loving and forgiving God that has helped me overcome my past.
I love making plans for my life, but I know I have to keep my options open with everything because God’s plans are far better than my own that’s for sure. It’s a hard concept to grasp sometimes when you want nothing but your plan to work just the way you want it. So for now I’m going to just live each day as it comes. I’ll have a tentative plan for after graduation, but I’m going to enjoy these last few weeks of undergrad. I’ll never get it back and I know I’ll miss it. I definitely thank God for the wonderful friends He’s granted me with along the way.
The clock may be ticking, but enjoy your life. You won’t get another.